Me Part 1

In between sharing my own kids' growing pains, I felt I should also pen down memories of my past... so here goes nothing....

4th June

I was born in a small town called Batu Gajah. It's a little town about 45 mins away from Ipoh (those days without the convenience of a highway). My dad wasn't around to see me when I was born. Got called for a training outstation and, apparently, I wasn't suppose to be out so soon... Anyway, I got out early (no fuss about it, dad) and gave my mum a lot of joy (ahem - I am after all , the eldest and first in my family. I am also the eldest grandchild on my mum's side!) So naturally, I am my grandpa's (and grandma's) favourite grandson (Oh, did I mention that I have a younger sister and there was only two of us on my mum's side? I didn't? well, now you know; not that this fact matters much.)

Moving to Ipoh

I spent my early toddler age in the government quarters in the hills in Batu Gajah, before we shifted to Ipoh (I believe it was somewhere in Shatin Park, Pasir Puteh ***c'mon, gimme a break - I am writing this down from memory something that happened decades ago!***) That was not for a very long time, hence the lack of memories of the place and we all shifted to Greentown (still in Ipoh). My dad got a place in a Semi-D, kampung style govt house (the ones with concrete stilts and wooden walls). We have a great playing field just outside my house with two tennis courts at the end of the "football size" playing field. We have a nice little garden on our side courtyard where we kept our chickens and rabbits and dogs, and whatever pets I had those days... The toilet? It's at the back of the house of course - it was stil the bucket-system then (I think? Never really remembered visiting the facility as I was still very young and I do most of my hygienic activities at the side courtyard (which was fenced up by a 6ft zink wall) or at my trusty portable bowl.

I am already begining to lose these memories of my past as I grow older and have my own kids and own life to live. Hence, I am penning this down and, when I do have the time, I hope to go back down memory lane to verify and search for my past... As it is already, my house in Greentown is no longer there - in its place it's the towering Menara DBI (Dewan Bandaraya Ipoh).

I could still vaguely remember the fun times I had in that house, and I hope to get hold of my old photos and will post it up (as soon as I get it) .

My first childhood story would be that of my dog - Tiny. He wasn't like tiny at all, as the name may imply. In fact, he is a large "sheepdog-like" breed. Not sure what you really called it but it's those type that has hair that covers the eyes.... He was white in color (suppose to be white but we will call it golden white nowadays). He was the first dog I could remember having or that I could call MY dog - of course my dad takes care of him as I was only 3 then...

Most memorable incident about Tiny:

Well, I had pet rabbits (2 or maybe 3) and I also had those cute colourful chicks (prob half a dozen or something...) and we were like (as the story goes) woke up one day and found half the chicks gone... and we started looking for it (my dad and mum and grandma) but coud not find a trace of it. Next thing we know, another one went missing ...ohoh.... "TINY!!!", shouted my dad... and off he went chasing the dog. In between all these, Tiny went after one of my pet rabbits, and chased him half way round the courtyard (as it somehow managed to sneak out from its' cage) and .... well, Tiny didn't bit it nor caught it.... the rabbit died anyway - heart attack - I was told. So Tiny was severely reprimanded when he was caught! But there goes 4 (couldn't count really as I was only 3!) chicks and 1 rabbit and 1 naugthy dog! But still, I think it was a fun day as my dad and mum still remembered that day!

Tiny was fun. Tiny was big, huggable, and lovable and brave. I remembered how he scared away the neighbour's geeses which came after me when I was like "out exploring"... But he was also very mischievious - One day, we got a complaint from the neighbour, that he saw Tiny stealing into his compund and chasing after his chickens (apparently he was succesful in catching one or some...) and so, because of that, I lost a dear friend.

My Dad had to give him up as he was just too naughty and we could not control him. Probably there were more reasons but I never asked that of my dad. There were no SCPA then and so, I still remembered how we had to take Tiny on a long car ride to a distant place and left him there. I couldn't understand why we had to leave him behind but as we drove away in my dad's old Volkswagen, I don't think I ever did cry. ...Not that I could remember... it must have been painful for my parents, especially my dad, for, according to my mum, he went back to the place to look for Tiny a few days after....***tears***

sigh.... incidentally, we had many dogs after that, but never one that looked like Tiny. Funnily, we had a lot of dogs that were named Tiny!!! like it was named in memory of Tiny??!!

The annoying sister

And so....anyway, my sis decided to popped into the family when I was 3+ and my best memory of that incident was.... I was not allowed into the hospital to visit my mum and my newborn sister. I had to wait in the car with my grandma who took turn with my dad and aunt to visit my mum and sister and at the same time, take care of me in the car!! mind you - no aircond then ok...!

So that was my sister....

ok... more of her next time then...and more about my childhood in the coming days.

Shut up or speak up?

My son talks a lot. In fact he talks and talks and talks and it's like the only time it is silence from him is when he sleeps and when he drinks his milk. He talks even when he eats! (and sometimes even when he sleeps).

There is so much a tendency and temptation for us to "shut him up" and allow not just for silence but for me and my wife to talk! But as I see many youths today, many have a tendency to "shut up" in front of their parents and it is the time for many parents to want them to "speak up".

Parents are not able to communicate with their children; They are talking but not communicating - and we wonder why?

Parents are not able to understand their children; They are talking but not understanding - and we wonder why?

Parents are not getting the support and respect from their children; They are talking but not respecting - and we wonder why?

So shall we let them speak up or shut up? Dilemma of the young parent.

First cane for the son

Dec 30, 2005 - that's the day, when I "caned" my son for the first time. It was for an "offence" most people would probably find that the "crime" do not warrant the punishment - the habit of biting finger nails - and so I caned him once on each hand.

We tried telling him and explaining to him the harms of biting finger nails - to no avail. We tried scolding him; we tried grounding him and traking his privilleges to toys and tv away from him; we tried putting him in the corner (we started isolating him in corners since he was 1+ and old enough to understand discipline. very effective and it works); we smacked his fingers (till our own hands hurt); so next step was to go for the cane.

I have searched through the web for solution to getting him off the habit and most recommend putting on some bitter lotion/cream to discourage him. Will prob try looking in the local pharmacy stores and see. but so far 4 days on, he has not picked it up yet..... hope it worked.

But it was an equally painful experience for me, as I inspected his hands 10 minutes on (as I helped brushed his teeth) and I saw the reddish, cane-inflicted mark on the hand. It wasn't the tears or the sight of his winched face that disturbed me most but the sight of the mark and his recovered composure to "win back" my love that left the guilt and made me most traumatic of the whole incident. brave kid - 10 mins on, and he was smiling at me and trying to cuddle me. Although the mark left after about 30mins, I couldn't sleep well that night. I remembered the time my own dad caned me for leaving the car keys in the car and locked the whole family out while out at a relative's home. It was a very painful experience for me .... and I now know how difficult it was for my dad to do that too.... but I never left the keys back in the car ... ever again.

I hope I will not need to raise the cane on my son again. But if I have to, I pray that I may have the courage to do so - for the sake of my children.

Intro

I am now 33. I have a very loving and supportive wife and two kids. My eldest son is 4 (will be 5 in august 2006) and my youngest, a daughter will be 2 soon in May. Both me and my wife are working parents and so we sent the kids to a childminder during the day but we will have them with us in the evenings and weekends. We don't have a maid (freaked out by the horror stories that we have heard) and so in between raising the two kids, we are the drivers, housecleaners, maid/butler, breadwinner, tutor, cook, plumber, handyman, employee, business owner, church Deacon, Youth ministry leader, sunday school helper, and cockroach killer (I am the official one - the wife absolutely hates them!!) So busy, busy, busy is the word...... so how are are we coping? hmmm.... I guess that's what this blog is all about

I am starting this blog mainly to chart the growth of my kids (wished I had started earlier but I guess, anytime is a good time to start) and blog down some of the things I learned along the way in raising my kids. I guess, I wanted also a "diary" of some of the milestones and events that my kids goes thru and something the family can cherish in a long time to come.

It is also an avenue to share our lives with you guys and in the hope that we can learn from you guys as well.. so comments, advice and especially encouragements are most welcome.